Need

   I'm surrounded by needy and hurting people every moment that I work. I walk into each of my patients rooms and look into their eyes and see that even if they don't say they are in distress, they are in some way in some sort of distress. Whether it be pain, shock, or fear. And I've realized that I have become numb to it all. I see it, but all I have time to do is walk in, assess, and leave. I see it every day. Every day. And I know that I should be more compassionate and caring (don't get me wrong, I treat all of my patients with a kind spirit and a smile), but it has taken its toll on me after these last 2 1/2 years as an RN. My whole being wants to sit and talk with them, but my managers want me to be efficient with my time. It's a war between my spirit and my flesh.

   What do you say to the person that has just found out that surgery on their heart is not possible and has found out that they might have lung cancer? What do you say to the person that can no longer breathe on their own and is now finding out that they won't live much longer? What do you say?!

   I have such a small amount of time to be with these people, to show them that somebody is actually out there that loves them and is ready to support them. It's exhausting going between being professional and diving into their lives/problems. I guess that's not just my work life but my whole life really. :) I wish that nursing was something more than time and money. I wish that I had one patient that I could look after. One patient to get to know. One patient to find out their fears and worries and try to help them through those things. I wish.

   This post is not to bash nursing or hospitals, but just to point out that there are flaws and I wish that it could change. I would appreciate any and all prayers :) And if you can think of just one person that you know who is sick or in the hospital - try to go see them, call them, or just pray for them. One word of encouragement goes a long way to recovering their hearts and minds!